Top Navigation Bar

Quote About Dandelions

"You fight dandelions all weekend, and late Monday afternoon there they are, pert as all get out, in full and gorgeous bloom, pretty as can be, thriving as only dandelions can in the face of adversity."

-- Hal Borland

Sunday, February 22, 2015

5 Things Learned During My Engagement

Throughout this process of planning a wedding in 5 months, I've discovered 5 things that engaged girls (and guys!) should keep in mind:

No, really, I promise. This is the wedding of two people. Not the wedding of two people, their mothers, grandparents, well-meaning cousins, and the florist. If you and your SO want something (within reason), go for it. If you don't want something, don't do it. People that love you can become so excited to help you out that they end up bullying you into doing things you just don't want. They still love you, and you still love them, but do your own thing. 

Make sure that the wedding is a reflection of your personality, not just something that is a copy-and-paste from someone else's vision. It's ok to break some traditions - how else do you think those traditions got started?! (P.S. The traditional "church wedding" comes from Roman culture and mimics one of the several types of marriages they performed, with a little Christian twist to it. It's cool to not be like the Romans, if you don't want.)

Guys, money doesn't grow on trees and I really can't stress this one enough. You and your SO sit down with whoever is paying for the wedding and decide an actual dollar amount for the wedding and the reception. If you two are paying, that's cool, but you need to do the same thing. What we've done is to make a spreadsheet with every category we could think of as the rows, with the following columns: Description, Estimated cost, Actual cost, Person Paying, and Person in Charge. (I might make a separate post about setting this up and using it. It has been invaluable!) 

Once you have the dollar amount, stick to it. If you can't afford a $5000 loft barn for the ceremony, then no matter how badly you want it (and let me tell you, it was GORGEOUS!) you have to find somewhere else to get married or compromise on another category. 

Colors, theme, decorations, dresses, flowers, food, etc. Everything in my wedding has had to change a little bit. And that's ok! What matters more than if I got the original things that I wanted is that everything, in the end, works out for good. Fight for what you love, but don't make mountains out of molehills.  

*Confession: Both of those are things I have said when being much less than nice. I was also possibly hormonal at the time they were said. I ate a doughnut afterwards and things were much better.* 

You are going to get stressed. You might even cry. Someone might say something rude or un-thoughtful to you. You might completely disagree with your future spouse on the kind of music that is and is not acceptable to play at receptions. That's tough, but you have to be nice. A party that lasts for a few hours on one day is totally not worth making people who care mad at you. Remember back to #1 when I said you should fight for what you want? You should, and you might hurt some feelings along the way, but be loving when you fight. There's no point in getting your way if your attitude makes people not want to show up on the big day. 

Yay! You're engaged to a really awesome person who you are going to get to annoy and laugh with for the rest of your lives and you only have a few months to plan the (so far) biggest day of your life. No pressure.....ha. 

There's lots of pressure. There are lots and lots of things to do. But you can burn out if you tackle them all at once with all of your energy. My future mother in law gave me a beautiful piece of advice:

Take a break to be a couple - you only have a little while to be engaged. 

She's right. I can get so caught up in getting married to The Gentleman that I sometimes forget that I am still in a functioning relationship with him. Go watch a movie together, or build something, or go workout. Don't neglect your relationship so you can marry him/her. It's not cool, man. 

Go have fun, be engaged, and rock your wedding! 

♥ Sarah