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Quote About Dandelions

"You fight dandelions all weekend, and late Monday afternoon there they are, pert as all get out, in full and gorgeous bloom, pretty as can be, thriving as only dandelions can in the face of adversity."

-- Hal Borland

Friday, June 27, 2014

Busting A Relationship Myth

There are a bunch of people on Facebook sharing an article titled, "6 Things Healthy Couples DON'T Do". And I think it's awesome!

And the first item on the list caught my eye: #1: "Healthy couples don't go to bed angry"

That's a great idea, a wonderful statement on how, ideally, couples should work through issues as they happen. (And yes, The Gentleman and I try to work things out immediately.) But in reality, there are nights when we have to let the matter rest until the next day (or the weekend) when we have time to work it out. He works full time and I'm in school 9 months out of the year and sometimes staying up until the wee hours of the morning figuring things out is just not reasonable or an option.

It is certainly more healthy for a relationship to be able to work an issue out before going to bed, so please don't think I'm bashing the article! But I do want to show a realistic scenario that doesn't line up with the ideal. I am NOT saying that you should go to sleep while ready to chew your significant other out, instead, agree to disagree for the evening and *then* go to bed, or go study, or whatever it is that you need to be doing. My issue with advice like not going to bed angry is that so many times it just glosses over issues, as if every time there is a disagreement, every couple will be able to pop a bag of popcorn and settle in for the evening to have a "work it out" session. That ain't happening. Especially not if you're dating. Super especially not if you're in a long-distance relationship (holla!)

There are times when you may have to set the issue aside for several days until both parties have the time the issue deserves. And that stinks, especially as a girl. We girls can obsess over issues until we can't sleep! (Not saying guys don't do this, but females are more likely to.) 

So, while definitely NOT the ideal, it is acceptable to lay a matter to rest for the evening. Please don't get too caught up in keeping "the rules" that you drag a matter far into a night that you needed to be persuing other things. I've done it and regretted it. Healthy couples can make adjustments when needed. 

P.S. This is not advice that The Gentleman and I have come up with on our own. It was presented to us in a book that completely changed our relationship (for the better!) Fit To Be Tied is a book we now recommend to every single couple we know, and even to our single friends!



    Just sayin'